You know something; i thought i was better than that. I found myself calling for the manager's resignation at the weekend, on the inside of my head only thankfully.
I get as unhappy and miserable as the next supporter when my team lose, on a consistent basis. I want change, i pray for a messiah, a big money owner or just a world beating forward, yet normally i get none of the above, so am i as unhappy as a fan who has all of those things?
Am i as sad and disheartened as a Spurs Fan? Multi-million pound transfer activity has brought relatively little to White Hart lane, apart from the bottom of the Premier League? Surely a Sunday defeat by Hull will be the final nail in the coffin of Juande Ramos?
Ramos arrived with a glowing CV and delivered, seemingly instantly, with a Carling Cup success against Chelsea. The Spaniard then spent countless millions on Bentley, Modric, Dos Santos and Pavlyuchenko, to name a few and for what?
So i'm not as unhappy as they are. What about the Geordies? They had their messiah, Alan Shearer, yet this gave them no real success at all. The former England marksman delivered goals week in and week out and got nothing in return, apart from folk hero status.
The Geordie legend finished his career with nothing from his time on the Tyne. His only silverware was from his time at Blackburn and as for Newcastle, they spend countless £££'s every season and they've ended up with Joe Kinnear to show for it!
So i'm not as traumatised as the Magpie fans but i am starting to be a little bewildered. I don't believe in a 'change' mentality, axing and chopping are not two of my favourite words in football terminology and "it's the manager's fault" must be the most overused phrase around the grounds on a match day.

The Forest fire is not alight!

When i scratch my head i never find an answer, so why do i do it? I can't write this and expect you to believe that i'm upbeat and optimistic, because i'm not. Some people have told me they read the 'weekly rant' and feel a little less negative about the club, great.
This week however i cannot fill you with optimistic phrases such as 'potential' or 'prospects'. On Saturday i was quite embarrassed that we looked so out of our depth at times and that despite all the running in the world, which we look like we've mastered, that cuts no chord when it comes to raw ability.
Quality is what's needed and whilst i am a believer in CC and you only have to look back at my old 'Rants' to see that i backed him and the team all the way last year, his time will start to slip away like the grains of sand in an hour glass if results do not change.
I don't like the 'manager blame culture' that we have but indeed it was CC who stuck by his players after promotion and said they would be good enough to master the Championship, so far we haven't mastered scrabble!
Will the City Ground crowd grant Mr. Calderwood 3-4 more games because in truth he did only ask for 10. With just 5 points and one win so far CC, the elimination process is no harder than the X factor panels abilities!

Alan March
Commentator for visually impaired spectator's at Nottingham Forest and Wembley Stadium.
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